"Leave it at the Door" isn't Real Life

“I don’t care what’s going on outside of this place.  When you come in, leave it at the door and get to work.” 

I overheard a supervisor telling his crew this one day during their daily morning meeting.  I cringed.  

I don’t believe in the philosophy of “leaving it at the door.”  I don’t believe that it’s human nature.  While there are some people who are exceptionally good at compartmentalizing, most of us are not.  Even if we think we are.  In fact, most psychologists agree that an integrated personality is indicative of good mental health. 

If you manage people, they come to work everyday with the intention of doing a good job.  And most of the time they probably do good work.  And sometimes life gets in the way.

If you’ve been through a divorce, had a sick child or parent, a family pet that had to be put down, or a good friend battling cancer, you know how hard it is to just “put it out of your mind,” even with your best effort and a full work load. 

The problem is not just lost productivity.  Safety risks can skyrocket, your brand image and reputation could be put in jeopardy, or quality issues may create serious problems for your customer.  If we try to ignore the tough stuff going on in our own life or in the lives of those we’re responsible for, we only exacerbate the potential for these problems.  

Here are two things I’ve learned to keep in mind when folks drag some of their personal baggage in the door at work:

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. - Dale Carnegie

Sometimes the simple act of acknowledging someone’s personal situation can go a long way to let them know you care.  Just ask how they’re doing or for an update on their situation if they care to share.  Find a way to offer encouragement when a team member is disappointed that they didn’t get that promotion or their last sales call was a bust. 

Empty the cup before you fill it up. - Ernie Mendes

Just like you can't add to a glass of water that's already full, people can't learn or retain new information when their mind is already full of worries about a current situation.  If someone is able and willing to talk, provide a safe space for them to do so, either with you or someone else.  If they can't talk about it, encourage them to write.  Once they've shared what's on their mind, they will have more mental space to reengage in work.