When Theory Gets Messy
I’m a new first time mom. And I’m a nerd. So I’ve read a lot of baby books. I mean, a lot.
And in the midst of our everyday, trying to figure this newborn baby thing out frustrations that every new parent must face and figure out on their own, I've realized that no matter how much I read in a book, the application isn’t an exact science, it isn’t perfect or precise and the theories are still just that. Theory. The baby in the book always does what the baby in the book is supposed to do.
So does the leader in the book. They always seem to make the right choice, they always do the right thing, they always do what they’re supposed to do. Their integrity is never compromised and their resolve never wavers. They never doubt themselves or the people around them. And no matter how dire the situation, there's always a solution.
But real life is messy. Because people are messy.
And the theory doesn’t always work in real life like it’s supposed to.
So I propose that we give ourselves some grace, because most of us are figuring this out as we go, whether it's a new job or a new baby, starting a new business or a new relationship, or life's longer journeys like parenthood or a career.
What might giving ourselves some grace look like?
Let go of perfection
Easier said then done, right? I have a sign in my office that reads, "Done is better than perfect." Sometimes I set a timer with a reasonable amount of time to finish a task or project, and when time is up, I force myself to move on. If an employee submits a project, ask yourself whether your feedback includes necessary changes or if you're burdening someone with tiny tweaks. Otherwise those of us with a penchants for perfection might never sleep.
Allow - even plan - for some mistakes
Every time I head to the airport, my husband reminds me to allow extra time in case I hit traffic. This is solid advice for someone who typically flies out of the Bay Area. And yet, it is a rare and really good day when I get out the door with time to spare. The same concept can apply to work and life when we know that we may not hit it just right the first time, and we allow extra time for making, correcting and learning from mistakes. How many of us have missed an opportunity altogether because we were too afraid of making a mistake before we even began?
Quit comparing
It's human nature to make comparisons. It's how we benchmark, interpret data and make decisions. Comparisons bring meaning to things around us. But when the comparing we're doing is against ourself, we're going to lose that game sooner or later. And when we do, its personal, it hurts and its unhealthy. So when you catch yourself comparing your achievements, strengths, promotions, possessions, or posts with others, STOP...and remind yourself that nobody else in the world could be you.
In giving ourselves some grace, may we also learn to be gracious with others. Because they're figuring out this thing called life as they go, too.