Life Lessons from a Little Black Dress

Helping others may mean having a conversation that no one else might be willing to have.

Many years ago, I had the opportunity to serve as the National Beef Ambassador. I was a freshman in college when my travels and responsibilities took me to my first Cattle Industry Convention & Trade Show, held that year in Denver, Colorado. After a big week for this country bumpkin that included getting to meet the President of the United States, the convention concluded with a black tie affair. I was thrilled to get an invitation to join the dinner and concert at the table reserved for the American National CattleWomen President.

I either didn’t know I would be attending this event or didn’t know what the proper attire was, because I truly hadn’t packed any formal wear. But when you’re in downtown Denver, you can solve that problem. I found a beautiful black strapless floor length gown on the clearance rack at Forever 21. It was a $20 miracle for a poor college kid. 

That night at the event, I received many compliments on my dress. I would excitedly respond, “Thank you! I just found it today, and it was only twenty dollars!” 

A wise older cattlewoman whom I’d only known for a year but respected and admired pulled me aside after dinner and gently told me that when I received compliments on my dress, the appropriate response was simply thank you. No one needed to know how much my dress cost. 

Yikes. That stung. I felt embarrassed because one, she had called out my behavior and two, because I truly didn’t know any better. The emotion of that moment has seared it into my memory. I still respect and admire that woman and would give her a huge hug if I saw her today. And I am so grateful that she had that brief but impactful conversation with me. 

Because no one needs to know how much I’ve spent on my clothes. Or how long it took to do my hair. Or how many hours to prep that presentation. Or how much money I make (and yes I am a millennial). Or how many years it’s been since the aforementioned conversation. 

Perhaps the greatest lesson I learned that day wasn’t even about social etiquette. I learned that helping others may mean having a conversation that no one else might be willing to have. And that helping people in small ways, even with a seemingly insignificant piece of advice, might be incredibly beneficial in their life and career. 

What brief but impactful advice has someone shared with you?  What conversation could you have with someone else to pass it on?